Marriage: A Refining Process

Marriage is the biggest refining process I have been through so far in my life. It has been an incredible adventure with the love of my life and my best friend, and it has also been a growing and stretching process along the way. I have been confronted with the ugliness of my own sin like never before. I have seen my desperate need for my Savior. I recently finished the book, When Sinners Say I Do, which I would definitely recommend to any married or soon-to-be-married couple! I hope to write more just on the book later, but this statement really stuck out to me and is so true: "Your spouse was a strategic choice made by a wise and loving God. Selected by Him, for you, from the beginning of the world, your spouse is an essential part of God's rescue mission for your life. Often a spouse plays his or her part by raising the engine temperature and heating the oil. But if we're wisely honest we will realize that God is behind it all, revealing the familiar sin so that it might be overcome by amazing grace" (Dave Harvey). Wow! Why do I so often get frustrated with my husband when it is really just my own sin and flesh that is being stirred up?! I have never known and experienced grace more since I have been married either.  Just today, my husband sent me a simple, but profound text message with 4 simple words: "I still love you!" Despite my struggles and my sin, I am still so loved! That is a beautiful picture of the Gospel of grace, because when I am confronted with my own sin, I can hear my Father say, "And still, I love you." Marriage is an incredible process that God allows in our lives to bring us closer to Him and make us more like Him. I was just talking with someone yesterday who reminded me that in marriage, God is entrusting our hearts to each other for this time on earth, but our spouse is ultimately God's son or daughter. What an incredible gift and big responsibility God gives us. My prayer is that I love my husband well and that loving him ultimately brings glory to God. So, is my marriage an absolute adventure, one of the best things about my life, an overwhelming love relationship, and an incredible gift? Absolutely! Is it perfect? Not even close! Am I continually falling into the arms of grace and thanking God for an incredible husband to do life with? Of course :)

Perspective: I choose joy.

Perspective changes everything. I know this, yet I so often have to fight for my perspective to be in the right place. My current struggle is with being content where I am at. Don't get me wrong, I have many things to be thankful for, but being content has been tough recently. I have those moments where I just stop and think to myself, "Seriously, what am I doing with my life?" I have a good job, but it is not my passion. I am grateful to be involved in youth ministry alongside my husband, but I wish I had more time and energy to devote to those teenagers. I also wish I had more time and energy to invest in to my home and my marriage. I often feel like our lives are so crazy busy and the weeks go by so fast, but what am I really filling my time with? I have dreams and passions on my heart that I want to pursue, but time is not on my side, and unfortunately neither are finances. Aaron and I have big dreams, but I feel so stuck right now. But I have to choose to fight for joy, to trust that God is writing our story even when I am frustrated, and that God hears every cry of my heart. I have to trust that His, "not now" is for my best and all of His plans for our lives are good. I have to choose to be thankful rather than discouraged, knowing that God is good. I have to enjoy the little things, like tonight, some warm, yummy soup for dinner, jeans and a hoodie at a high school football game, and a beautiful fall night sitting out on the back porch, having a glass of wine with my husband. I choose joy.

Our new "Soup" bowls I made for us :)

I <3 Football! 

Our Love Story... continued

So, after that trip to Jordan, Aaron spent the rest of the summer in Romania and Mexico (of course, right?) Haha. He is always traveling the globe! So, we talked a few times while he was gone, but I didn't really think too much about it for the rest of the summer. I mean, of course, I thought about him, but from previous fears and experiences, I was trying not to "get my hopes up." At this point, I had no idea that Aaron had liked me for a several months prior to this, and I had convinced myself that he would never like me. (I know, I know, crazy, but those were my own struggles at the time). Dealing with my fears and insecurities is a whole other story, but at this point, my heart was pretty guarded. Aaron definitely had to fight for my heart, but I knew he was the one when he did fight for me :)

We got back to school that semester, my senior year, and Aaron and I were hanging out. And we somehow started hanging out more and more and more ;) And then somehow we found an excuse to see each other and hang out almost every day, whether we were studying together or walking around the city or grabbing a bite to eat, we just couldn't spend enough time together. That is something I have always been so grateful for about our relationship is that we were best friends before we started dating. We had so much fun together and genuinely just enjoyed each other's company and spending time together. Then, one day in September, Aaron asked me if I would be interested in going to a Rascall Flatts concert in Chicago. He knew I loved Rascall Flatts, and wanted to do something fun. However, one of my best friends was getting married on the day of the concert, so I told him that I would love to, but couldn't go :( Well the next thing I knew, he bought tickets to the Rascall Flatts concert in St. Louis for the day after I got home from the wedding! What?! Not only had he bought me tickets to the concert, but we were now driving from Chicago to St. Louis! So, by that point, we still had not talked about dating, but I knew something had to be up for him to buy my expensive concert tickets and plan a road trip for us.

So, a couple of weeks before the concert, Aaron and I were planning on hanging out one night, which was not uncommon. However, it was the craziest thing, because when I woke up that morning, before I even got out of bed, I knew that Aaron was going to ask me to date him that night. It was just one of those things that is hard to explain. I really believe that God was preparing my heart for what was to come. Because, honestly, God had been doing so much in my life and my heart up until that point, that I would not have been ready to date Aaron a day sooner. It was definitely not because I was not totally falling head over heels for him or because I did not want to date him, I did! There were just so many things that God was doing in my heart in that season of my life. God's timing is always so perfect! :) So, I had butterflies in my stomach all day long. The day seemed to drag on and on and that night when I got to see Aaron just could not come soon enough! I was excited and nervous and giddy.  We met up that night and went to our favorite little hole-in-the-wall taco joint, Taco Velos. I thought we would sit down and have dinner and a conversation about our relationship. Well, we got there, and Aaron asked if I just wanted to get food to go. At that point, I was starting to get disappointed. Maybe I was totally wrong, maybe those feelings I had all day were just made up in my mind and heart. So, we got our food to go, and were just driving around the city. Then, Aaron asked me if I wanted to go to "the riv." (That is what we called one of our absolute favorite spots in the city down on the Chicago river). Once he asked that, I knew what was coming... :)

Chicago Skyline

TO BE CONTINUED...

Fall Projects

First of all, I just have to say that I am soooo excited that my husband is coming home tomorrow! I have missed him so much. Although he will be home for less than 24 hours before heading out again for a conference down in Georgia, I am happy to see him for just a little while until he is back for good this weekend :) I realize, sometimes even more when he is gone, that I really am married to my best friend in the whole world. But anyway, my post is not going to be all about how in love I am :) Since I was home by myself tonight, I decided to add a little fall decor to my house and do a little craft that I found on Pinterest a few weeks ago. I have been wanting to do this the last few weeks, but the 80 degree temperatures have kept me from fully embracing fall. It is still too hot to even sip on a pumpkin spice latte! I am not usually one to complete about hot days, because I LOVE summer and I love hot weather, but since it is October, I am kind of ready for fall weather. I'm ready for those jeans-and-hoodie-nights while watching football, bonfires, pumpkin spice lattes, boots and scarves, just to name a few ;) So, I decided to go ahead and do some decorating and fall crafting tonight to see if that would help me get in the "fall mood." Here are some pictures from my night...

Started with some plain ol' bottles...

...and some paint.

I painted the letters on with stencils.

I have had this bundle for a few years and never really known what to do with it.
That is originally why I loved this little project when I saw it on Pinterest. 

The mess I made in the process :)

The finished product :) I was pretty excited with how it turned out!

the newly fall-decorated mantle

Hope you are enjoying the beginnings of fall! :)